Give Thanks?

Since the glorious invention of school holidays, I've had some time to think about what I'm truly thankful for in my life.

God has given me a load of experiences to recall, retell, and reminisce on. He's given me a number of summers and trips I'll not easily forget. In London he gave me a passion for the peoples of the Middle East. In Kenya, he gave me a look into the lives of the people I admire and strive to be like. In Greece he broke my heart with the thirst of the people we served for His Word. In Haiti, he showed me how to love people that I barely knew and how to serve Him in seemingly impossible conditions. God has blessed me with the materials and the funds to afford and savor these trips. I have seen devastated families homes repaired and rebuilt. I have seen children who grew up in horrible circumstances accept Christ with willing hearts. I've rededicated my life and had my soul replenished so often that I feel guilty about those that don't have that luxury. I am also thankful that I have so much to look forward to. I believe that this summer will change my life drastically. Being the last summer before I go to college, I can pretty much guarantee that God's going to break my heart. Again.

The family that surrounds me is another thing that I am continuously thankful for. I don't say it often enough, but I couldn't have a better family. Yes, we are all busy and we have our differences, but when we are together and enjoying ourselves, I couldn't be happier. I have a mother who's willing to go in debt for me even when I am too vain to realize slash say thank you. I have a dad who's always there and always has a free ear for me to talk at. My brother is like this endless source of amazing information that I don't know how I live without during the week. It's amazing. It's true: I love my brother. Shocker.

My friends are another story. They're pretty much the things that keep me going. Sometimes I get snappy or they're PMSing, but usually things work out and the fact that we can bounce things like that off of each other is amazing in itself because it lets us know that in the future we'll have that knowledge and experience to use in our lives. Wow. Run-on.

There is really only one thing that I'm not thankful for. This requires some background info:

In Sunday School the past few weeks, we've been studying Spiritual Gifts. We took a little test, and I found that a couple of mine include Arts/Craftsmanship, Missionary, Writing, and Administration/Guidance. The first three are pretty self explanatory. I love art, that that's plain, I like to write, also plain, and I'm drawn to missionaries and their work, and that is something I wouldn't mind undertaking in the near to distant future. However, Administration/Guidance has always and continues to cause problems for me. In this case, a person with this gift is a planner. Someone who is a thinker and is good at leading people to achieve goals for not only themselves and their community, but for the Lord. This is me. God created me to be an outspoken person who comes up with plans, ideas and such. I want to be a business major. Wonder why. Anyway, I have always known that some people don't like people like me. Some people don't exactly love it when other people spew ideas out of their head like they were a regurgitating toilet. (lovely analogy, yes?) Lately, it seems as though people don't listen to me as much as I thought. In a ministry team meeting tonight, (a group of which I am perceived as somewhat of a leader) every idea that I proposed was denied. Just like that. Either "uh, no, I don't think so." or "Uh, maybe not." Then later, when others brought up the same ideas, they were welcomed with open arms. I was upset, sulking and believing that maybe they just didn't hear or remember my suggesting them, or maybe I'm not being cynical enough, and they just don't like me. But then, I decided to learn from this. 'Cause I don't know if anyone even reads this.

I'm tired of the weird looks, and I'm tired of being put down for my ideas. It is extremely hard to change your personality, cause the way you're made is usually the way you're always going to be, but fo' real. I need this change. 

Please welcome Alli, the new, improved--and quiet--girl you know.

PS. Or maybe it just has to do with a friend of mine who acts totally different around their significant other.

*EDIT*

Screw that.

I just saw I friend of mine's facebook status: "Why are we all trying to be the same when God made us so different?"

She's right. If God made me this way, then DOGGONE IT that's the way he wants me to be. I, as a maturing young woman, just need to learn to control and use this gift (of gab) of administration in the right way.

Amen.

Salt and Vinegar Chips.

I never really appreciated just how good they are. Just the right blend of salty and sour.

About the happenings in my life over the past week.

I was backing out of my driveway yesterday, right after my dad had gotten home from picking up my grandmother. I forgot to check and see if anything was behind me because I'm so used to the driveway being clear. Bad. I came within literally half an inch of my mom's SUV. My left mirror was RIGHT NEXT to her right tail-light. It was scary.

I found out that my art teacher is a superhero. And probably the best teacher in the history of cheese snacks.

My grandmother is now staying with us, and my mom bought new sheets and what not for my brother's bedroom so that it would be halfway decent for my grandmother to stay in. now I want that room, 'cause it's so cool.

On Saturday, my mom and I were cleaning for the arrival of the white-gloved old lady, and when she left to go shopping, i was supposed to do a couple of chores. So I did them. I did them with gusto, but I did them, and I did them to my definition of well. Well, mi mamar didn't seem to think so. So we had our stereotypical discussion about my being a lazy teenager and how i'm ungrateful and I need to do my chores better. And she's right. It's sad. So I left for work. And I volunteered to close, partially because I didn't want to go home to a steaming mother, and because I wanted extra hours. Then I remembered two important things. Laura's birthday party was that night, and I promised I'd go. I had originally intended to go after I got off work, and I had told my mother this. But I was very afraid that if I reminded her, she'd forbid me to go, and if I went without reminding her, she'd get really angry. So I just went home after work and wished Laura a happy birthday at church the next morning. The second thing that I remembered was the the $100 deposit for my trip to the Dominican Republic this summer was due the next day. Uh-oh. If I mentioned it, would she forbid me to go? AHH! But when I got home, We talked a little bit, and though she was right about me being a lazy and selfish teenager (we all are at one point, aren't we), she apologized for getting angry. So Mommy and me are good. YAY!

Other stuff. Boys are awkward and have a way of making everything weird even you view your friendship as something that can withstand a simple rift. One blowoff, one angry friend.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR TURKEY DAY!

The Future of My History.

In other words, today.

I'm just reflecting a little on my high school experiences.

And I've decided that I'm not ready to leave yet. Actually, today in art class we are doing "tape people." and I decided to volunteer to be taped. so they taped and cut off my arms, and then we moved on to my head. They kept telling me, "Oh, Alli, you volunteered for this." I felt like I was about to die, honestly. So when they cut the tape off my head ( I was wearing a jacket with a hood, so it was not only really hot, but there was no way they could have injured me.) I was still freaking out.

There you have it. I'm not ready to be an adult, because I can't even handle being wrapped in packaging tape.

And I'm having so much fun in high school, what am I gonna do when that's all over? I mean, college is kind of [not] like high school in the fact that it's a learning establishment. Whatever.

Even though I know I'm not ready to go off to college and turn eighteen and be responsible and what not, I'm still really impatient about graduation. It can't come fast enough. GAH.

And I've decided to blog more. I need to. I'm a slacker. This will help me. I think.

I'm not going to be willing to wear glasses all day. And maybe tomorrow too.